Saying 'NO!"

As I wanted some inspiration to write a blog, something prompted me to read Gerry's Blog. It was on 'giving'. Ironically, the past week has been a week of immense activities for me. I've had endless meetings each night, long list of tasks , sessions to prepare for and have been feeling quite 'tired'. Over the weekend, I questioned my attitude of giving, and afterall the 'complaining', I discovered that I am really exhuasted!

I realised that I've a lack of ability' to say 'no'. It's like I take on all sorts of tasks, problems and responsibilities belonging to others as though they belonged to me. I allow myself to be available for so many different people and groups of friends as though they really need me. I realised the false vision I have is that if I say 'no', I'd hurt a person, or if I don't 'do', I'd miss out. Further, in the context of my job in the Church, another 'false vision' is that I'd be 'missing' God's graces and 'missing' opportunities to 'reach out' if I'd say no...

All these has taken a toil over me, my physical, spiritual and emotional self, over the week. I know all these 'distorted visions' in my head, but I can't, in practical ways, translate them into action. There's a great fear of abandonment and losing out , that comes from within. Perhaps , it's time to learn how to be 'set free' from these fears... perhaps... this is the reason for my fears about the thought of living in community..

Oh well, to quote what Gerry said in her blog, God can see...

Anyway, here's the concept of Boundaries from 'The Simple Scoop on Boundaries' by Dr. Henry Cloud; cloudtownsend.com

Why are boundaries neccessary?
"Because God is behind the concept of boundaries. According to the Bible, this need is fundamental in the creation of mankind. God created us to be free, and to act responsibly with our freedom. He wanted us to be in control of ourselves, and to have a good existence. He was behind that idea all along.

But as we all know, we misused our freedom, and as a result, lost it. With the loss of freedom came the loss of self-control. The results of losing self-control are displayed in a wide variety of miseries. Consider a few of the alternatives to self-control:
-Controlling relationships where people try to control each other.
-Faith that is practiced out of guilt and drudgery instead of freedom and love.
-Being motivated by guilt, anger and fear instead of love.
-The inability to gain control of our own behavior and solve problems in our lives.
-The loss of control to addictive processes.

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” (Galatians 5:1)