God, Where are you?

It's Christmas again! It's the time of the year when we are all busy with the celebrations, the eating and the drinking. Admist the celebrations, I've been questioning the state of my spiritual life. I wonder if I am truly aware of God's presence amongst the merry making or is He just a 'by-the-way' thingy. Well, perhaps I'm just in need of some silent time, away from the 'noise'

I have been reading Gerard W Hughes, SJ - "God, Where are you". Here's a part from the preface which I thought I'd quote :

"....You taught me a very clear and simple message when I walked to Rome and to Jerusalem : that my destination was the basis of all the subsequent decisions I took, route, maps, equipment, money, direction each day, time for rest, time for walking. It was not that I was continuously thinking of destination Rome, or destination Jerusalem but subconsciously my destination was the ultimate determinant to every decision. To have ignored my destination would have been to walk blindly.."

As I prepare to leave for the Philippines, I can't help but be grateful for all that God had provided for me, especially the people He has sent into my life. I thank God especially for the companions that he has so graciously provided on this journey , companions who are also bold enough to make radical responses to God and who inspire and urge me along. Companions who, though are apart from me, will be looking and walking and looking towards the same destination, seeking peace, joy and fulfilment..

Here's a poem I'd like to share., given to me by a Jesuit whom I consider a teacher in many ways. ~ For all my beloved brothers and sisters on a journey of discovery and seeking God's will, and for all who are struggling to see God in the darkness.

I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year
'Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown.'

And he replied, 'Go into the darkness and put your hand into the hand of God
That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way!'

So I went forth and finding the Hand of God
Trod gladly into the night
He led me towards the hills
And the breaking of day in the lone east.

So heart be still!
What need our human life to know
If God hath comprehension?

In all the dizzy strife of things
Both high and low,
God hideth his intention.

– Minnie Louise Haskins (1875-1957)

Saying 'NO!"

As I wanted some inspiration to write a blog, something prompted me to read Gerry's Blog. It was on 'giving'. Ironically, the past week has been a week of immense activities for me. I've had endless meetings each night, long list of tasks , sessions to prepare for and have been feeling quite 'tired'. Over the weekend, I questioned my attitude of giving, and afterall the 'complaining', I discovered that I am really exhuasted!

I realised that I've a lack of ability' to say 'no'. It's like I take on all sorts of tasks, problems and responsibilities belonging to others as though they belonged to me. I allow myself to be available for so many different people and groups of friends as though they really need me. I realised the false vision I have is that if I say 'no', I'd hurt a person, or if I don't 'do', I'd miss out. Further, in the context of my job in the Church, another 'false vision' is that I'd be 'missing' God's graces and 'missing' opportunities to 'reach out' if I'd say no...

All these has taken a toil over me, my physical, spiritual and emotional self, over the week. I know all these 'distorted visions' in my head, but I can't, in practical ways, translate them into action. There's a great fear of abandonment and losing out , that comes from within. Perhaps , it's time to learn how to be 'set free' from these fears... perhaps... this is the reason for my fears about the thought of living in community..

Oh well, to quote what Gerry said in her blog, God can see...

Anyway, here's the concept of Boundaries from 'The Simple Scoop on Boundaries' by Dr. Henry Cloud; cloudtownsend.com

Why are boundaries neccessary?
"Because God is behind the concept of boundaries. According to the Bible, this need is fundamental in the creation of mankind. God created us to be free, and to act responsibly with our freedom. He wanted us to be in control of ourselves, and to have a good existence. He was behind that idea all along.

But as we all know, we misused our freedom, and as a result, lost it. With the loss of freedom came the loss of self-control. The results of losing self-control are displayed in a wide variety of miseries. Consider a few of the alternatives to self-control:
-Controlling relationships where people try to control each other.
-Faith that is practiced out of guilt and drudgery instead of freedom and love.
-Being motivated by guilt, anger and fear instead of love.
-The inability to gain control of our own behavior and solve problems in our lives.
-The loss of control to addictive processes.

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” (Galatians 5:1)